Graphically pleasing.

Spent the last few cloudy, rainy days designing and thinking about redoing my kitchen, an ongoing thought process since I bought the apartment 11 years ago. So of course I woke up today and the first site I looked at was google flights. For 5 years I've traveled instead of home repairs and right now I'm feeling like packing it all up and running off to another part of the world to See! Sadly I cannot afford both, but I need to do both. Looking through these images is a reminder that a home is more then what it is made of... and after every trip my kitchen doesn't seem so awful. Yet I live in a world where "make do" is not part of the equation. Society pressures us to want more, look better, and spend. I certainly don't need a custom $25k kitchen, but i could use some cupboards that will stay put together and a stove that works correctly. I could also use another month in Brasil.

New computer. New monitor. Newly broke. ;) Newly re-inspired after 2 days at Photoville. Digging through the folders to see if I missed anything.

Faith







Thinking about faith a lot the last few days. I'm not one to be religious but religion seems to surround me. Is faith religion? When I burn the candle and wish away the evil... is that religion? I don't think so but others may. I tend to believe whatever gets you through the day is what you need, but that can also go the wrong way. Faith can be negative in all it's positive ideals. But for right now, I just need my family to be healthy. I appreciate those that can pull full faith in a belief that praying to a saint will make it all better... That walking in circles 4 times and bowing to the corners will make it all better... but right now I just need it to be all better. Taking a deep breathe... breathe in... breathe out. Whatever it takes tonight.

Valentines Day













We drove down so many dirt roads looking for this man I never thought we'd find him. We turned left when he was probably off to the right. Stopped and asked every person we passed if they knew him, most shook their heads no but still pointed us in another direction. We tried one road because a tree reminded Tammy of his hair, but he wasn't there either. I really don't remember how we found him, but we did, and there he was to greet us. Sort of. He moved from tree to tree quickly picking fruit off the ground and from the branches. Handing some to us to eat, others were dropped in a bag for us to take. From one side of his property to the other, over barbed wire fences and through bushes, I was sure the barbed wire was going to go straight through his worn flip flops but he managed. We followed him again as he moved swiftly back towards the cashew tree in the front. More fruit. Take them please, as he guided us back towards our cars and sent us on our way. We were dazed from his energy, confused at what just occurred, and back in the cars on our way to find our next adventure. I never even caught his name...

Santiago de Iguape

















This was, by far, my favorite Carnival celebration of our trip. Not much of anything compared to Salvador or Rio, or even Maragogipe, but I loved it. As we had a little siesta after lunch kids started converging into the community building next to our car. They arrived in shorts and flip flops carrying their costumes in their backpacks, secrecy of who is who is integral. Once ready, everyone emerged in costumes made of bed sheets, wearing rubber boots and masks... which pretty much looked like escaped laundry to me. ha! In 90+ degree heat, it had to have been torture but they were having so much fun running through the streets haunting away the evil spirits - I was sweating just keeping up with them. As we wandered back towards the car we notice a couple of costumes in a corner bar so we had to stop in... you know, for the costumes. I have to say, these are some of the most friendly people of anywhere I've traveled. Here we are, a pack of worn out photographers/tourists following kids through town photographing them and the first thing people do is offer us beer! So of course we had some... and some laughs and photographed some more. It's all so wonderful and it's hard to believe it's been a month already. How did that happen?

Here's the owner - at 80 years old - showing off his skillz!

Inbetween the frames...















...that make the edit are so many more images. So many wonderful people we meet along the way, moments filled with laughter, stories and so often a beer. Very seldom do you come across someone that truly doesn't want their photo taken, and if you do, usually after a few moments of conversation you are invited inside and taking photos after all. It's wonderful! So these are just a few images of the many, taken in the first two days on our wanders through Cachoeira. I miss these moments.

Cachoeira #1



I've carried around prints from this trip to Bahia all week. I flip through them on the subway trying to remember every detail of each day. Where were we, what time was it, what made me take this photo? This was from the first day in Cachoeira, the workshop didn't start for another two so it was nice to wander and refocus my energy out of NYC and into Bahia time. Tammy and I decided to wander through town with our cameras seeking interesting. We found it and so much more. From Yemenja preparations and celebrations, on the water and in folks homes, to the best first beer (or two) of the trip with some wonderful locals just enjoying Saturday in the shade. Cachoeira is a pretty small town and almost all those we met on this first day popped in and out or our adventure over the next two weeks. A beautiful start to a wonderful adventure!

Feed your fire.











Stare it in the face and revel in the heat!

Missing.



There was a lot of discussion around the word Saudade over the last few weeks. Wikipedia describes it as, "...a deep emotional state of nostalgic or profound melancholic longing for an absent something or someone that one loves. Moreover, it often carries a repressed knowledge that the object of longing may never return."

It can pretty much sum up how I have felt since the day I departed Brasil. Leaving behind friends and adventures that don't happen in daily life. I think all travelers feel this way but we, as a group, were together from sunup to sundown – photographing, editing, talking, laughing and experiencing life together so intimately, that when it's over this utter heaviness prevails. My sleep patterns are still a mess, I wake in a place that I don't recognize yet I've lived here for 10 years. There's also this sense that the last month didn't happen. It's blurry. I can remember moments but it's a fog of time. I've spent the last two days looking over, under and through all of my images from Brasil. From this trip, to my first in 2011 trying to hold onto the memories. I almost lost all of my work from this workshop, a stupid shelf and misguided belief that a shelf on a wall could hold a laptop for a minute... I just needed to get up.

The night before a woman read my Tarot Cards. We sat in a dark hall behind our closed hotel lobby door, with almost no light she read things to me that were so spot on. I don't know what I believe of Tarot, but the conversation and thoughts were enough to make me second guess that. What are the rules of Tarot, can I share this? Does it matter? The one that sticks with me most was choice. There was a card that read that I was at a crossroads, that it's up to me to choose a path - that no matter who is hurt or helped - I have to decide. That sometimes it's easier to not have a choice, for fate to prevail, but that was not an option for me. Choice.

So it was fate that my laptop fell, thankfully I didn't lose all of my images. That certainly wasn't my choice. It has been a lot of work going through files that are half corrupt, looking for any that are important at the moment, I know in the future I will miss others I'm overlooking now. So far just one from my final edit is missing - the image above. I have a small jpeg but the raw file is gone. It is from a day of driving and getting lost, filled with cerveja and sunshine. It was a Sunday. It was hot and everything was moving pretty slow. I wandered behind a woman's house and saw the tail of the cat hiding from the sun under the remains of a couch. Almost perfect. I took a few shots and wandered off. "It just needs a dog" says Romain. I laughed but when I found one I chased it to the front of the yard, kind of in jest but when I see the with and without, happy for the suggestion. Team work. ha! i'm surprised the dog didn't snap at me, but he was probably confused at this crazy woman with a camera speaking Spanortuguesish that he went along with it. Maybe there'd be a treat.

In Brazil, the day of Saudade is officially celebrated on January 30th. In NYC, it spans this entire week. I think it will be good to get back to a schedule soon. I don't want to lose this feeling but I can't live with this feeling forever.

Maria Vieira, Igatu.













Sylvia Plachy said recently, “I tried to understand what was going on without the language.” After visiting with Maria I returned with an image I took of her in 2011... at this moment, I desired more then anything to understand more of the language.




I understood enough to know this was her son, he adored his mother, and that the images I brought to her meant more then I could have known. She loved the photo of herself, thinking she turned out pretty good, so proud! But then I handed her two more images of a neighbor (photo). I was sure he had passed away, as the last time I was in Igatu was 2011 and he was not doing well then. She stared at the images, her son enticed her to remember who it was. Memory came quickly and when I looked up again tears were running down his face, a single tear on hers. He was obviously important to them. Her son began telling me the story, I handed them tissues, and nodded like I understood. I did not. We all shared this moment together but I still had no idea.

Thankfully I was with friends that did speak Portuguese. As we passed by again I introduced them to her son and he explained that it was his uncle, his mother's brother. If I remember correctly he was the man that collected the money at the mines when the diamonds came in. That not once did he steal or cheat any of the miners. But that part is cloudy as my mind was wrapped up in the love that Maria was sharing. A hug, a smile, tears.

Not every photograph makes the final edit, but all photographs are worth keeping. Once I knew we were returning to Igatu I gathered as many pictures as I could to share with those I had photographed in 2011. These photographs bring smiles, open hearts and memories worth every tear drop and hug that there is. Miss Gabriella (photo) that I had photographed had all but grown up. Shyer then she was in 2011, thanked me and ran off to her friends. Her mother loved the photograph.

It's these moments that really stay with me. Returning and sharing with new and old friends alike.

To live is to fly...



Did you hear that? That was me exhaling... I've only made it through 2 days of files, but looks like most of my images from Bahia with Ernesto were saved! There are many corrupted files, just hoping none were keepers. More to come soon.

Pica Pau, 2012

WOW!







Just found out my photograph of Christiane made Photo of the Day on National Geographic's website. Wow!

Somewhere near Cachoeira.